Last Monday’s assembly was based on Children’s Mental Health week. The theme was ‘Know Yourself, Grow Yourself’. The idea is that the more children know about what makes them happy, what they like to learn, what sometimes makes them sad etc the better they can know that there can be movement between emotions which they can make happen. This way they can help themselves when times get tough. Wednesday’s Wisdom from Tooled Up was also a really interesting read on this front. I was particularly drawn to this bit:
It is normal to be protective. However, as counterintuitive as it feels, we do need to ensure that they experience challenge and difficulty! Challenge gives children the experience of learning what they are capable of. Challenge invites them to think things through, problem-solve and negotiate. Challenge gives them the opportunity to step a little outside of their comfort zones and encourages them to persevere and adapt.
This is so hard as a parent to manage; it is very natural to want to smooth the way for your children and this never seems to stop, even when they are grown up. The kittens I was feeling when my son took his driving test and the terrible empathetic disappointment when he failed, despite being so ‘ready’, were hard to bear. But, there is also a pride in seeing your child pick themselves up, analyse what they did wrong and go again. This is invaluable preparation for inevitable trials and tribulations of adulthood. Crucially, this can only happen if they have the chance to practice. I would highly recommend you ‘think through’ disappointments with your child rather than always trying to fix them. Validate their feelings, but also support them to see that upsetting things that happen are rarely the end of the world and that they themselves have the tools to be happy again.
